I have rapidly transformed back to my old 2007 self. John Lennon said "All you need is love" but he was wrong. I have a lot of love but I need something more tangible, rational and less expensive. I am a product of my generation and a product of my fucked up genetics. My entire life will be filled with memories because in the end, that's all we have anyway. I have put boards up against those mind screens in an effort to seclude myself from my true self. My true self is angry, violent, insane, melancholy and selfish yet overly empathetic. On the outside I am an ocean of calm and I am working to have my inside match my outward serenity. I love too much, I hate too much and there is no in between. I am trying to become that balance. At this point, there is no other choice.
I was born for a purpose that is so far unknown. But I have a feeling all of this pain over the years will help me figure it out.