I am seeing a man named David every week.
David is my therapist. He is also a genius (a hella expensive one at that). He is teaching me to take all my anger, moodiness, craziness and irrationality and place them into neat and manageable piles to be one day filed away in the archive section of my brain. It's as if he's tapped into my brain and is analyzing my thoughts with some CIA super scope.
Today I learned that it's okay to grieve. ("Wow, Jenn, really? What a kernel of knowledge!") But seriously, I often like to block out my feelings instead of, well, feeling them. Sometimes they get too intense so I run the other direction. Today, David told me something I've always known but sometimes it takes another human being to really stick a thought into your craw. Everything in life happens for a reason. The good and the bad. And you know what? It really does. As much as I regret a lot of my past choices, who exactly would I be today without them? Sure, I could be a brain surgeon (not likely) or a traveling circus monkey (more likely) but the truth is there is no way to know.
I am going to now quote the 21st century scholar and bard Rihanna: Life is too short to be miserable. Well, now that's a little too optimistic for my taste but in general, she's right. Today I had a pretty ordinary day but it was good. I can say that I took joy in it. Over the weekend, I took a part of myself and threw it away (metaphorically, of course) Best decision ever? So far, yes. Because with it went 90% of my "insanity". I hate the cliche, "it's like I'm breathing again" but really...it is.