Sheen-gasms takes over the interwebs...and it's winning

So today I successfully avoided that humiliating drive to go pick up my things and last paycheck from the staffing agency. But I guess I will have to do it sometime so not so winning, huh?

 The vision that haunts my dreams...

                                                       

 Also, this...

Anywhos, many have probably noticed I have been obsessed with this whole Charlie Sheen going apeshit thing. Hey, don't judge. I have no job, no real reason to be excited about anything so I am Team Sheen.

                                                               Oh shit, wrong Sheen

 I finally watched the entire 20/20 interview he did. Wow. Total bi-winning. However, the best news of the CENTURY (yes, you read that right) is that now the nutcase/national hero has opened his own Twitter account. Praise the social media gods! And as you would expect, it's winning. His first post was rather mild, simply featuring a photo of himself and his whore (excuse me, I meant pornography actress) and their shared love of organic fruit drinks. However, being the winner that he is, Senor Sheen amped up the crazy by confirming what we all knew: That Babe Ruth was fueled by tiger blood.

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Winning!

Well, of course he was, Charlie, duh! C-Sheen proceeds to invite  legendary douche, P. Diddy (or Puff Daddy or Tinky Winky or whatever the hell he is called these days) over to his house for a party. Sean Combs and C-Sheen in one house? I think Armageddon is coming in the form of crazy rich a-holes.

 Joaquin 'Bye Good' Phoenix, C-Sheen, Douche Combs & 

Mel 'Sugar Tits' Gibson

The best parts of Sheen's tweets are his pictures. Only C-Sheen can post a picture of himself imitating the game pong with the Direct TV logo without seeming crazy. Oh, wait... BUT in case you think I'm the only loser out there jumping on the Team Sheen bandwagon, you are mistaken, fools, because Wrigley Field has upped the ante. I give you the Charlie Sheen Dog with Tiger Blood...

Only the 'Daily Deal'? This should be America's dietary staple.

Leave it to baseball to 'bring it'. What does the future have in store for Charlie Sheen and his mighty Twitter? Hopefully more Sheen inspired epicurean delights with the occasional dash of Emilio Estevez. 

Never forget...